Spirit & Steam: 30 Days of Thanks - Day 6

I know that I have blogged before about my childhood but I wanted to give a special salute to childhood trauma in general. I believe that those horrid experiences can be used to help us develop into uniquely gifted adults. They allow us to develop the endurance, knowledge, skills, and compassion to help others along the path. A weakness or fear due to past experiences can even be transformed into a strength later in life. I am reminded of when Rabbit tried to rid Tigger of his bounce, which he saw as a nuisance, only to be rescued by that same thing when it was adjusted and used for a noble purpose [1]. I am not suggesting that the trauma is good, but that good can come from it. Such traumas can also give you an idea about the present mental and psychological state of the child such as in the example that follows.

Recently, Jimmy Kimmel asked parents to film their kids as they were told that mom and/or dad ate all of their Halloween candy. He thought this would be funny, it turned out to be both traumatic and comical. The results also tell a lot about the kids. You can actually predict, to some degree, how these kids will end up. Here is the clip followed by brief synopses [2] and commentary.

Kids #1 and 2 (aka Woody and Buzz): Kid #1 drops to the floor in shocked exasperation as Kid #2 is already whining before being told his candy is gone as well, at which point he hides his face behind the couch. These kids share in each other's pain. Kid #1 is a dramatic type and will end up being the expressive sort. Kid #2 will be the quieter, more reserved type, but ultimately the one who will offer you a shoulder on which to cry. I am predicting that he may play wing-man to his brother in the future.

Kid #3 (aka Your Whiny Neighborhood Spider-Fan): He collapses with his Spiderman pail and a shocked expression on his face, then sits on the floor and cries with his head down. Kid #3 reminds me of some kids I played soccer with when I was little. When life is unkind, sit down and cry. You will still get a trophy and you get to check out for a bit while other people take care of the work. A little dramatic but ultimately he will grow up to join the ranks of the 'normal' folk.

Kid #4 (aka Delayed Reaction Boy): This boy takes a bit to long to process what has been said before flinging himself back into a high pitched squeal and stressed expression. I am fairly certain that this kid was already in on it all and was just doing something so mom could put it on YouTube. This kid will be a fine actor once he learns proper timing.

Kids #5 and 6 (aka Wrapper-Toss Girl and Mild Disappointment Boy): The girl asks where the candy is, sees the pile of wrappers in front of her dad and starts weeping before she even makes it to the table. The boy does not really seem to care but has a slight frown. The girl then throws the wrappers at her dad. Kid #5 will end up in some fights as she grows up. She expresses herself physically and does not seem to understand appropriate reactions. She has a high level of vengeance. Kid #6 will be okay. He seems to have already worked out in his mind that the situation does not make sense. His bigger concern is: "Why are our parents doing this to us?" He will grow up with some gap of trust with his parents but able to sort things out fairly well. He has developed a healthy dose of skepticism.

Kid #7 (aka Seriously, How Old Is This Kid? Will The Other Middle School Boys Tease Him About This?): This boy looks shocked, goes over to check his candy bag on the bed, and then slams his face into the sheets in bitter tears. He turns around, leans his head back, and wails in agony. My main concern here is that the boy does not appear to be THAT young. I would guess at least the sixth grade. Granted, the early hormones of oncoming puberty do lead to some interesting waterworks at times, but this kid is deeply hurt that his candy has been eaten. He never even questions the logic of the situation and he does not even try to twist it to his advantage. This kid is going to be pushed around quite a lot as he grows up. I am slightly worried that this will just further a victim mentality in this kid.

Kid #8 (aka That Was A Funny Trick Girl): This girl has a mildly unhappy face but then laughs when told it was all a trick. Kid #8 will be able to handle whatever life throws at her. She has a genuinely happy outlook and does not mind a few tricks. She likes to be able to laugh along and will do well.

Kid #9 (aka I Hate My Mom Girl): Girl runs away from her camera-happy mom who tries to justify it saying, "You know I like candy." When asked if she still loves her mom, she replies in the negative. This girl is going to have some serious trust issues with her mom, which may not be a bad thing considering how much her mom seems to enjoy this. I have a feeling this instance may induce the skepticism she needs to deal with the rest of life.

Kid #10 (aka I Have A Secret Stash Boy): The kid replies with a not-so-much-shocked-as-confused "What?" then rolls his eyes as his mom tries to explain that she gets really hungry since she is pregnant (kind of a "I've heard this before"). He then smiles, laughs, and goes off to his secret stash of Nerds. This kid I am not so sure about. On the one hand it seems that he can roll with the punches and be prepared in any situation - a cool kid who will do well. On the other hand he displays some remarkable similarities to a drug addict.

Kid # 11 (aka That Will Teach That Wall And Piece of Paper Boy): Kid slaps the wall and throws a piece of paper on the ground as he storms off angry. This kid is on the same road to anger-management as Kid #5.

Kids #12 and 13 (aka Sleepy Boy and Critic Girl): The boy just 'sleeps' through all of this but the girl shouts, cries, and tells her dad that he is ugly. The boy will continue in life as a disaffected teenager, then a disaffected college student, then a disaffected grad, etc. The girl will continue to deal with her anger (and situations that do not make her happy) by insulting them, thus trying to self-justify. Good luck with that one, parents.

Kids #14 and 15 (aka Math Prodigy and Are We Sure He Is Not A Teenager?): This one deserves a full transcript:

Mom - I ate all your candy. You have no-no more Halloween candy left.
14 - (Slightly whiny as he continues to scratch his belly.) What?
15 - (Lounging with his arms behind his head.) She ate it! The heck!? (Exasperated sigh.)
14 - Ahhhh . . .
Mom - Don't you guys think you ate enough candy last night?
15 - No! I only had like one bite of candy. Are you serious!? And then you ate the rest.
15 - (After an angry pause. Now with sarcasm!) Oh, good for you! Now you're gonna have-probably get a belly ache. (Pause.) That's why you shouldn't eat so much candy. Mom, that's two!
Mom - Two what?
15 - Two bags of candy.
14 - (Started while 15 was still talking.) Two plus two is-(pause to look at brother who just finished speaking, as 14 holds four fingers up)-Two plus two is (brother leans over to whisper to him) equals five!
15 - It's really four. You did - you were so close. (film break)
15 - Did you see how much I had? I went to a lot of houses.
Mom - I know. I ate it all, it tasted so good, especially the peanut butter cups.
14 - (Gasp of realization as 15 lifts his eyebrows.) YOU SNEAKY MOM!

These boys are going to be fine. #15 is definitely a little man as is. He makes sure to take care of and encourage his little brother. He has also mastered the art of sarcasm. I am mildly surprised that he did not make a comment about his mom's weight after the belly ache remark. The little brother is sweet and able to brush off things as they come. He also just enjoys being a part of the situation. These boys really deserve their own sitcom.

Although I am thankful for crazy things in my childhood that have brought me to where I am today, I really just wanted to share and comment on that video. I am thankful to Savannah for introducing me to the video, it gave me some good laughs and some things to analyze. I am also thankful that I have time to write this tonight (Saturday) and set it up to post tomorrow (Sunday) as I will be extremely busy then (teaching middle school Sunday School, church, Go Orange, eat/reorganize time, middle school youth, high school youth, talk to other youth leaders, get home late). At least I get an extra hour of sleep before that. Have a joyful Sunday!

PS - Yes, I know this is not a letter, but I came across something before I actually posted this. I do not want to call it an edit so much as an addendum. I found the original video of the last two boys. It serves to show that these kids figured their mom was a trickster but the kid in red is kind of sweet and concerned about his mom. He is actually pretty chill and logical. His mom may be dealing with another me - poor woman. At least they got some laughs out of it.