30 Days of Thanks - Day 5 - Grandma

The woman above is my last surviving grandparent. She has had three kids who gave her eight grandchildren in addition to other great- and even great-great-grandchildren. She has spent her life taking care of people - always remembering birthdays, playing Yahtzee with us when we were little, and helping us to keep up with the rest of the family. She has also lived without her beloved husband since before I was born. No one has ever heard her say a profane word - though she spelled one once (and she smelled it before that) - despite having to put up with the rest of us. She even refrained from killing my dad when he did stupid things as a kid. I am thankful for my grandma. She is an example of patience, endurance, and loving-kindness.

Oh, and she does not seem to mind us calling her "G."

30 Days of Thanks - Day 4 - NoiseTrade

I enjoy music. LOTS of music of many diverse genres. I especially enjoy music that defies a singular genre specification (such as much of David Crowder*Band's discography).

I am also cheap. I do not like to spend a lot of money on music (or anything other than books for that matter) especially when I am attempting to discover something new that I like.

This is where that beautiful website NoiseTrade enters into my life.

NoiseTrade is a lovely little slice of the Net that offers music for 'free' - legally. Various artists post their work there for 'free' download either in an attempt to drum up a new fan base, reward current fans, or just stick it to 'the man' and 'his' ways of holding artists down. I say 'free' because you do actually have to give them some information. Specifically you give them your e-mail (where they will send the download link) and your zip code. This has another benefit of getting you signed up for the band's mailing list and letting you know when they will be near you for a concert. I know that idea does not thrill most people but you can also easily opt out of the list when they send something to you.

The neat thing about this is that you can preview all of the tracks first so that you know you want them, you can share your find through various social media to help promote artists you like, and - if you really appreciate the music - you can leave the artist a tip from $1-100. So you get great music, a way to connect to the artists you like, and a way to share your passions while only offering up information that is readily available online anyway.

I am thankful for NoiseTrade because it helps to fulfill the nifty things mentioned above and it has helped me to find great artists like The Vespers and Josh Garrels.

30 Days of Thanks - Day 3 - The Vespers

Quite a few months ago I downloaded an album from Noisetrade titled Tell Your Mama and promptly forgot about it for a few weeks. I came across this gem in my music folder again in August when I was looking for some music to put on my mp3 player for when I walked. I was enamored by the beauty, quirk, and charm provided by the extremely talented set of two sibling pairs. Their lyrics had both depth and simplicity. Their music captured a sweet piece of American folk. They had spirit and they had steam, thus they were a band with which I identified. They were The Vespers and I was greatly blessed to run across their album.

I was additionally blessed to be able to attend a show they had at Natasha's Bistro & Bar in Lexington, KY back in September. Flat out amazing stage presence. They were worth going to see just to gain a true appreciation for the skill and soul that Phoebe, Callie, Bruno, and Taylor were putting into each piece. It was also a great experience as, being a small venue, they were able to come out and talk with us after the show. I found them to be genuine people - not big headed - wanting to socialize with the crowd and even express appreciation for our being a part of that concert experience.

I got to speak with Bruno and Phoebe the most, both of whom I found to be good-hearted, friendly, and joyful people. They were real, they had depth, and if I had not have had to leave as quickly, I would have loved to have spent more time chatting. Phoebe was a genuinely interesting person to talk to and one of those people who really made the effort to let God shine through her -beautiful inside and out. But I digress. There was life there that night that I usually do not find at concerts.

Another thing that I appreciate about The Vespers is related to what Bruno posted on Noisetrade when people were discussing if they should be referred to as a 'Christian band':

Thanks for the love yall! We don't label ourselves as a Christian band strictly... then we would only be playing for 'Christians'. We follow Christ, and play for all. It's music... Wires, wood, and words... Doesn't need a brand name. We did coin the term Indiecana 2 years ago in an interview however. before Mumford and Sons were famous. ;) ... Much love, please keep spreading the word! -Bruno from The Vespers.

They are Christians but they are not rushing headlong for the pitfalls of being a 'Christian band'. Their music conveys a spiritual depth and truth but they do not limit it to one audience. They can actually reach with it because of that. They can play in bars to people who would never show up to a 'Christian' concert. I admire this mission model of being inclusively Christian, not exclusively 'Christian'.

In addition to all of this, I like their website. It is laid out well, informative, and full of fun extras like videos, a movie mail-in program, and a store that features Phoebe's handmade flower hair clips (seriously, she is multi-talented). They also have a new free single up for grabs.

I say all of this and then want to ask that you support this great band by helping with their Kickstarter campaign: We need help paying our dues. If they meet their goal, we get to see another great album from this band titled "The Fourth Wall" and help them to maintain artistic control (read as: freedom from a label telling them what to sing). There are some great rewards for backers too so at least check it out. Thank you!

30 Days of Thanks - Day 2 - Sushi

I recognize that this next one may make some readers cringe. The idea of eating anything raw is bothersome to a portion of society. Another, smaller subset hates seafood anyway. Put these together and you have people running to Cracker Barrel for 'safer' options. Raw seafood just does not match the taste codes and comforting thought qualifications for certain individuals.

I am not one of those individuals. I cannot go as far as claiming to be an addict, but if sushi is an option on the menu, my inclination is to order it and to try as many varieties as I can.

My affection for sushi started back in college. I had eaten sushi before but the opportunities were few and far between. Two years or so before I graduated, a Jasmine restaurant opened in town. Before long I discovered their sushi selections (not as well known at first, overshadowed by the popularity of their Thai lunch specials) and the place became a favorite. As time went on, even one of the school cafeterias started carrying boxes of their rolls. For my last year of college I had sushi for breakfast nearly every morning.

Now you may be wondering: sushi . . . for breakfast? But I assure you, it was a great source of protein and a tasty way to start the day. I'm not much for typical breakfast foods anyway. Rolls stuffed with crab, salmon, and tuna provided me with the energy to think, work, and tackle the engineering physics and secondary education curriculum to which I was subjecting myself. As such, I was thankful for the nutrients and the delicious flavor.

I have another reason to be thankful for sushi. I eventually got one of my friends hooked. We added sushi to our Sunday between church routine as we had already done with swinging by Book and Bean for coffee. It was a great way to spend time with a friend and to connect over a common gustatory interest. One time I showed up early for lunch and snagged us a table. As he came in and looked around for me, one of the waitresses came up to him and said, "Are you looking for someone? Is it a boy?" This quickly became our little joke for the restaurant and we made sure to invite other people with us in the future to avoid confusion of that sort.

Sushi is not only a nutrient-provider and delight to my taste buds, but it also holds a key to many fond memories such as the one above. As such, I am thankful for sushi. I am thankful for the rolls, the nigiri, the maki, the inari, the oshi, and the sashimi.

I'm just not thankful for the ikura (salmon roe). That stuff is like saltwater with skin. Seriously, kids, stay away from it.

A roll and nigirisushi combo from Jasmine.

A chirashisushi, nigirisushi, and sashimi combo from Jasmine.

30 Days of Thanks - Day 1 - Being A Knit-Wit

I know, I know. I am being overly ambitious about my ability to post every day, but I would like to take November - the month containing the lovely holiday known as Thanksgiving - to write some mini-reflections on things for which I am thankful. It is a fun way to remind yourself of the blessings you have and connect it all to a commonly shared [1] event, thus demonstrating the net's powers of mind control by 'inspiring' others to do the same.

With that said, one of the first things I am thankful for is the gift of knitting [2].

I first learned to knit about two-and-a-half years ago when I was searching for my first job after college. I had spent five years in a constant state of activity and I did not have a lot to keep me busy while I waited for call-backs on job applications. While walking through Wal-Mart's craft section with a friend (I think he was looking for tie-dye) I saw the Knifty Knitter Round Loom Set and mentioned to him that I was thinking about picking the hobby up to have something to do and feel productive. I thought he would laugh it off but then he told me that he would teach me how to really knit. Turns out my friend was some sort of award winning knitter back home. We picked up some needles and yarn before heading back to the house I was living in at the time. That night he showed me the basics.

I went back out to get the looms the next day [3] as I preferred both the ease and the fact that you can pop out a nice hat in the time it takes to watch a movie. It has been over two years since I first picked up the craft and I have actually come to the point of forgetting how many hats (and scarves) that I have made. I took or have obtained a few photos of my creations which I will post below.

This skill has been a major blessing, especially since I have been on the job search again. It gives me something that I can do that is productive, can be done along with other things, and that can be used to bless people with some heart-made gifts. It is something simple that I can do to make people feel special while providing for a basic need. As time has gone by it has also sparked more creativity on my part. Involving more colors (or color swapping for stripes), the use of more threads for each row, attachments, decorative stitching, reversible layers, pom-poms, and other add-ons to create some nifty utilitarian art.

I have found that another blessing has come from those to whom I give these creations. Unlike some adult friends (none pictured) who seem to immediately ask for a price [4], my kids seem to immediately understand that these are gifts. Because of this they teach me an important spiritual lesson. They know they cannot compensate me so they do not try, they just enjoy the gift - they use it, they appreciate it. This is something that I need to remember to do with the gifts God gives to me. I can never repay Him. That would be beyond my ability. I must receive with thanks and put these gifts to good use.

Marshall rockin' the first hat I ever made (with Josh making lunch or something).

Kyle rockin' the second hat I ever made.

H.L. rockin' the third hat I ever made. I actually experimented with using two strands of yarn instead of just one for a thicker hat. This soon became my basic hat method.

Some of my friends' kids used a scarf I made for them on a snowman while wearing the matching hat. This scarf was a tube scarf made with a hat loom before I actually bought the long loom for making scarves.

Made a very small hat for my friends' very small daughter. I do not know why it looks like the sides are sticking out like cat ears though.

One of a set of matching green and blue striped pom-pom hats for some friends' daughters. My first time making pom-poms.

Several other projects had been made during and after the time shown above, I just never got pictures.

One of my recent projects that was inspired by a comment by a friend was to make some reversible hats of the four ghosts from Pac-Man (clockwise from left: Pinky, Inky, Blinks, and Clyde):

Which flip inside out to become the ghosts after Pac-Man eats a power pellet.

And, again, other hats came after these. At some point I began to experiment more with decorative stitching (embroidery) on the hats. This was my most recent project. It features a red fig tree with green figs and has Proverbs 27:18 as the trunk with John 1:47-51 under the branches. It took a long time (triple-threaded and then the time it took to weave all of that on), but you can tell from the verses that I think highly of the kid who received it - something tells me that boy is going to change the world (something else tells me he has already started).

[1] At least it is in the U.S.

[2] At this point I would like to remind readers that I am, in fact, a man and am, in fact, only interested in women - REAL women.

[3] He was actually a great teacher, I just never could seem to get it going right or fast enough for my tastes.

[4] Note: I have no qualms against doing a paid commission piece. However, I will not take on more than I can handle, I will not promise that any piece will be done by some specific time (I have to say this as I don't want to receive an order in the middle of December for five hats that need to be to someone by Christmas), and I will not make the Pac-Man ghost hats for sale as that would be a copyright nightmare. I also will not recreate the fig tree hat as that was something that was made for a certain person. Furthermore, I have no intention of starting a business from this so please understand that I may not respond like a business to everyone who submits a request to the 'Contact Me' section on the sidebar and it may take me some time to figure out how to set up some method of payment.

Before I forget: I do not own Pac-Man or the ghosts, I just made some fun hats that I did not sell. Namco owns those entities as far as I know.

One (Crazy) Month

I apologize for not updating for over a month. Though I do not know if I have any regular readers to whom I should apologize, I am extending that apology to myself. I have a bank of half-finished posts that I can't remember why I started writing in the first place, I have ideas for posts that I've been wanting to do with several more that I've forgotten by now, and I quite enjoy writing as it helps me to process life. As a matter of fact, it's that life which has gotten in the way for the past month. I don't wish to bore anyone with the details but to give you an idea I'll borrow the list format that my friend Savannah uses on her blog.

1. I had various appointments and classes that second full week of September, not to mention my parents returned from their trip (and brought me a lovely soccer jersey for the Scottish national team).

2. The third full week contained a day of intense picking that would have floored Mike and Frank in which I obtained several books, a few old N64 games, and a snowboard I intend to use as a bookshelf in the future. I also attended the highland games in Eminence, KY with my dad (both of us sporting our kilts).

3. Sadly, after returning from the games, we learned that my grandma on my mom's side had been rushed to the hospital with several issues. We were told that there were two options: operate so she 'lives' in a vegetative state for less than a year at most and needs continual fixes, or pump her full of antibiotics and pain killers so she can go out with as little pain as possible sooner.

4. The option taken was the latter. The family took rotating shifts to sit with her and look after her needs more than the hospice workers (for whom we are still very grateful) could. I took a few of these and was glad to spend the time with her even if she was out for most of it. I would sit and knit while I waited (a few hats and most of a thick scarf were finished in this time).

5. On Tuesday, October 4th, the last time anyone had any real chance to talk with her while she was conscious, I was sitting with her. She woke up at one point and asked me where her baby was, saying, "Didn't I have a baby?" When I told her that there wasn't a baby with us, she looked very sad and went back to sleep. The last time I know of that she spoke to anyone was to me as I was putting some gel on her lips to keep them from chapping. She woke up and asked what I was doing. I told her I was putting her makeup on so she would look "right pretty" when she saw grandpa. "And Jesus too," she said. Yes, grandma, and Jesus too.

6. I went out the next day and bought her a soft baby doll so that she would have a baby if she woke up again. It felt silly at the time, but I also felt I should do it.

7. Grandma passed on through the morning of the 10th. The visitation was the next day and my male cousins and I were pallbearers the day after that. It was more like a family reunion. There wasn't much crying or sorrow as we knew it was coming far enough ahead and we knew she was ready.

8. I lay the doll in the coffin beside her. One of her sisters then mentioned that it was interesting that grandma had asked about the baby. Grandpa had as well when he was dying. We then found out that my mom, thought to be one of eight, was actually supposed to have been one of nine. A baby was lost before she (and her sisters as mom was a triplet) was born. Grandma had never talked about it and the few who knew never brought it up for her sake. I'm glad I gave her that doll.

9. On the 13th I woke up to a text message from my best friend down in our college town. He had an extra ticket to go see David Crowder*Band's final tour in Lawrence, Kansas and he and his mom (who I'd gladly claim as well) wanted me to go with them. I missed them both dearly and needed the trip so I set out for Murray the next day to head out to the land of Dorothy and Toto.

10. I got down to Murray early and just managed to catch the dearest boy I know to give him something, chat him up, and get in a good hug.

11. We finally managed to leave Murray around 8:30-ish at night (don't ask). The trip went fairly well except we learned that many of the gas stations (and their bathrooms) close up late at night around St. Louis. I think I may have hurt myself slightly by holding it so long because I had some pain/bloating/urgency/other issues the next day too.

12. We learned another good lesson that night: call ahead to make room reservations because the town you decide to stop at will just so happen to be having homecoming that weekend and all of the rooms will be booked when you come rolling in at 2:30am. All blessing be to God that we found a room and - even though it was a smoking room at a flea-bag motel - it wasn't that bad for a few winks and several nighttime trips to the loo.

13. We got to repeat that lesson the next day when we ended up being forced to take the last room available in Lawrence thanks to a KU/OU game we didn't know about. Thankfully we got this room. Unfortunately it had a malfunctioning A/C (seemed to make the room hotter honestly), a non-functioning drain (until I showed off why I have a degree in engineering), and various other problems like exposed wiring (it was a HoJo and the room wasn't supposed to be let as they're remodeling right now). We survived.

14. The concert was amazing and it was much better with my best friend and my adopt-a-mom. We're not sure how we feel about John Mark McMillan (odd sound issues for his set where we were sitting 0n the third row left) and Chris August has talent - just not in songwriting (having worked youth ministry I can safely say he writes like a teenage boy). Gungor impressed all of us but even more impressive was his bass-playing, jaw-drop-inducing vocal percussionist named Kevin (who is currently on The Sing Off and you should vote for his group - note that I do not actually watch this show). Then the DC*B took the stage and what was up to that point a concert became a family worship session. I hadn't seen them live since before Illuminate was out and it was hard to believe they could have improved on back then but it was a much blessed time. Again, it wasn't just the music, it was the atmosphere - the focus on God Most High. Yes it was great to hear that they'd come up with nine more bluegrass songs (that I think may be another EP before or after their final album by how they mentioned it), but it's the lyrical content of those songs that mattered, such as remaking the old hymn "Because He Lives."

15. After the concert we had meet and greet passes so we got to walk by, talk a little to the band, shake hands, and get our vinyls of Church Music signed (for those kids out there who think that vinyls are the protective covers that keep their mattresses dry, ask your parents what I'm actually talking about). The best part of this for me was that there was a hold up in the line behind me so I got to talk to David (possibly one of the friendliest men on the face of the earth, especially considering he had just played an amazing set and was probably tired) Crowder for an extended period of time and thank him for all of the years of encouraging tunes.

16. The next day we hit up the Kansas City Renn Faire on the way back. Pretty nifty and good times with my friends.

17. We finally rolled into Murray around 3am Monday. I got to have a great talk with my friend's mom - informative and encouraging. I had forgotten to mention above that I had broken up with my girlfriend during the past month as well - it hurt a bit but it needed to be done. This was some of what we talked about on that long ride home. I needed that and I am so thankful for her sage wisdom and strong Christian stance.

18. Yesterday, I took some lunch up to my friend's office and we ate together before I had to head home. It was great to get to see and talk to him in person one last time before leaving. It was also great to stuff our faces with sushi from our favorite place. Thanks again, man, for an awesome weekend!

19. I drove the long trek home bringing my TORT - time on road total - for those four days to approximately 28 hours while listening to Connie Willis' Doomsday Book (the first in her amazing time travel series).

There are surely several things I've left out of the above but they're all quite fuzzy now. Anyway, I'll leave you with the following that I wrote one night while grandma was still in the hospital. I was talking to a friend and it was relating to the subject of intimacy with God being intertwined with our knowledge of God and His Word. I felt a fire burning in my chest and this came out of the passion I had as I reflected on my King of kings and Lord of lords. This came in the midst of what seemed to be chaos - a reminder of to Whom I belong, the One to see me through it all.

We are so incredibly blessed to bear witness to a God who actually wants to have something to do with us! We have a Father, He sets a standard - an image of glory and righteousness and power for us to grow into - and doesn't expect anything less of us. We have a Brother, He both sets an example of that image and provides the means for us to go in that way by taking the eternal suffering that we've caused (in sins of commission but also in sins of omission), and thus deserve, upon Himself. He appeases that rightful wrath and makes things right between us and the Father once more so that the Spirit can come to us - so that what was sinful can live in the presence of a righteous God. We have a Spirit, He (not just 'it') prepares and leads our hearts and minds to grow in the image of the Father that was exemplified by the Son. He constantly points us to and allows us to learn about the Son who Himself points us to and allows us to learn about the Father (and He has given us to learn from the Spirit and the Son - to know Them and thus know Him). We have a God who wants to be known, not just by us but also in us - bringing out that image from what we've hidden it behind. They, which is He, has made all creation with a (glorious/beautiful/genius/these words are all falling short) ability to reflect aspects of, and thus point us back to, Him. And He has sought to make us chief of these reflectors - the full-length mirror - His image! He has done the impossible - taking what is broken and making it whole, taking what is warring and making it peace, taking what could never work, could never be useful, could never be and making it live! And as I think about this I realize that the God of the great paradoxes has made me one as well. As I am both empowered yet humbled, enlightened yet realizing my foolishness, encouraged yet aware of where I fall short. And all I can think is holy, holy, holy is YHWH, our God Almighty, Who was and is and is to come! Glory be unto the Father! Glory be unto the Son! Glory be unto the Spirit! Glory be unto the Three-in-One! He has revealed Himself that we might know Him and, in knowing Him, share with Him in His glory! He does not need us, existing in and of Himself in that glorious community of the Godhead. Yet He still chooses to create us, to struggle with us, to make a way for us, and to dwell with us forever. Truly He is great, and truly He is God!

I want to thank Him so much that, in these tough times, that's who He still is - His self-existence ensuring that He is not changed by our circumstance (what more He can be recognized in these times for that very reason). He is so good to us and it's His choice, not His obligation. Praise, praise, praise to the Thrice Holy King!

Back to School Headband/Clip Giveaway at 3 Peanuts!

So I'm posting this for another entry at the contest because my parents have a neighbor with the most adorable little girl who would look stunning with a 'Brooke' headband from the Bella Reese Boutique (who is supplying the contest prize).

3 Peanuts, a blog that I check every few days (because she updates far more than any other blog I read - true story), has a little contest/giveaway running through Sunday (that's 9/11/11 when the contest ends). Basically, if you'll leave a comment on her site at the related post with the headband/clip style you want/love, you get an entry. She'll use random.org (another lovely site) to pick a winner Sunday and I guess contact you afterward (although I'd keep an eye on her blog in case there's an issue and she can't). You can get bonus entries by posting about it on your blog (like I'm doing), liking the boutiques facebook page (I'll never live that down), and following the 3 Peanuts blog (highly recommended).

I'd wish you good luck but I want to win so . . .

For those wondering why I'm wanting to win a headband for the neighbors' kid and reading family blogs, it's because I still hold out that lovely hope of being a dad someday and if I can't be one right now, then I can at least spoil someone else's kid! It's kind of like placating (and educating) your own need to nurture others. This need tends to grow when I notice lots of friends announcing their marriages and pregnancies. Granted, I'm only 25, but so are they (or younger). I guess that makes the current checklist:

_ - Find job.

_ - Find wife.

_ - Make/Adopt children.

_ - Become a superhero.

_ - Get old.

_ - Die.

Jonah Prayer

Yet again I find myself helping out with a youth group despite my recent relocation (granted I grew up in this area). It's my lot in life and something I'm grateful for which God still sees me as being useful. Truth be told, it becomes a return blessing.

Our current series is on Jonah - one of my favorites in the minor prophets due to the number of questions with which he leaves me [1]. This past Sunday we went through Jonah 2, talking about the importance of prayer and the repentant/emergency type that Jonah brought to God. The youth pastor asked the other youth workers to write our own prayers to share, using Jonah's as a model, and passed this task to the kids as well [2].

I had been wracking my brain the past few days trying to get to a mental state where I could even think like second chapter Jonah. I typically mix a lot of song and Scripture in my prayers which causes most of my written prayer to come out in a poetic form. To get the juices flowing, I went to some songs I knew that I had used in my Jonah moments: Wedding Dress by Derek Webb, Second Chances by Needtobreathe, Mystery of Mercy by Andrew Peterson, Lesser Things and Jealous Kind by Jars of Clay, and Breath of God by Dicky Ochoa. These, mixed with a little Hosea (another of my favorites) and Jim Elliot's "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose" [3], and further added to a rough, mostly-sleepless night, brought me to that mindset I needed to break down and bare all. The following is the fruit of my self-induced heartache.

A Vomit-Soaked Prayer from the Beach

My God, my God, why have You accepted me?

Should not traitors die and thieves pay back sevenfold?

And what less have I stolen but time? Blessed time!

That for which the weak crave and infirm pine,

And thus have I squandered,

Whoring myself to lesser gods.

And time – time knowing no reverse –

Passes through me like flour a sieve.

Were You to count that which I have stolen

And require of me that sevenfold return,

That I could not repay less than the whole of me

And still find debt wanting.

I step from what is need to vain desire,

Trading time to waste and peace to fire,

And then I wait for more.

My God, my God, why have You accepted me?

Why call whore “bride” and runner “son”?

What use do You see to encourage Your pursuit?

Yet pursue You still, with unfeigned vigor,

That, when I tire of Your breath on my neck,

I must turn to feel it on my face.

You are the God who does not quit,

The Self-Existent with whom there is no ceasing.

For this I give what is not mine,

That which I would lose and cannot keep,

And receive what I cannot buy,

Cannot make, nor can I find.

This I snatch from You –

As if I thought it be taken back –

Life in death, grace in justice, freedom in chains.

My God, my God, why have You accepted me?

[1] Will he be in the Kingdom? Did he actually die (in sea or 'fish') and was brought back to life? Was he simply allotted his time and mission to make a point much like that in the parable of the prodigal son? etc.

[2] I have a sad feeling we may never see these from the kids (although I don't even know if any of the other youth leaders have written their Jonah prayers yet).

[3] Yes, I am aware that he was just (mis)quoting Philip Henry who said, "He is no fool who parts with what he cannot keep, when he is sure to be recompensed with what he cannot lose."

Sites to Share - Behind the Name

As a new category or feature of this blog I thought I might share some nifty websites I've come across over the years. These are simply "Sites to Share" - nothing more, nothing less. I'm not receiving compensation from these sites to advertise or send readers their way [1]. On the other end, I'm also not just throwing a bunch of random sites up here. These are sites I actually use and have benefited from using [2].

The first of the "Sites to Share" is a little section of the net known as Behind the Name. This website provides a searchable database of given names and their etymology [3] for over 50 different linguistic backgrounds - including names based in mythology. The site also provides information on name popularity, anagrams, some basic root-words, and message boards. One of the helpful features I've found is a categorical grouping of names based on theme, which could definitely prove useful if you're searching for a baby name.

I like this site because I have an interest in etymology anyway. My name means 'humble but wise, who is like God, a person of victory'. I like the ring to that and I like checking out the meanings of friends' names to see if I notice any connections. I think names can be important. They can be an expression of the parents' faith for what a child will end up like. They can also be the choices of fools who merely wanted something that sounded 'cool', 'unique', or pleased the family. Whatever the case, names have significance and the people to which they belong have their own interesting connections.

I use this site when I write or do studies. The site has a random name generator, which proves useful when you need a character name or some inspiration. The site can be helpful if you want to slip some foreshadowing into your writing through a name, if you're writing an allegory and need a name with the right meaning, or if you want to avoid using the wrong name for a character. As far as studies go, whether you're looking at Biblical studies, historical research, or mythological inquiry, names matter and can give you clues as to the underlying themes to watch for in what you are investigating.

I've found Behind the Name to be a useful and entertaining spot on the web. It has vast potential for investigation and creation. Check it out sometime, play around with it, and see if it will be one of your sites to share [4].

[1] If I ever do, I'll let you know, but they will be sites I enjoy/approve of as is. I oppose the idea of participating in the advertisement of a product one does not personally use and enjoy.

[2] By 'benefited from' I typically mean the sort of intellectual-emotional pleasure I get from learning something new. I have a lovely habit of doing what I call "Wiki-dives" where I follow a rabbit trail of linked material within linked material, taking me through diverse disciplines and random knowledge I may never use but like to have. I've already described my bibliophile/gnosophile nature.

[3] For those who don't know, etymology is the explanation of the meaning behind the words, including history and linguistic development. It is not simply the definition but how the words came to be and previous definitions (i.e. saying that someone was 'nice' was the equivalent of calling them an idiot at one point in time). This leads to the title of the site being Behind the Name - it contains the meanings and history behind the names.

[4] I apologize for the lame name-dropping at the end. I know that I could edit it out but I figure it could help you to understand how mind-blown I am today. I've recently been on a job search so I've been bouncing around, reading job descriptions, and filling out online applications. It's a lot of work but I'm hoping it will be fruitful. I've come across some interesting companies with projects/products with which I'd love to get involved. I'm switching fields from education to engineering so I'm having to reeducate myself on some of the job posting terminology. Bear with me. Maybe my experiences will lead to some interesting posts.

Engineering Relationship - Project Milo and Applications Beyond Gaming

Raise your hand if you're familiar with the Kinect peripheral for the Xbox 360. I assume most readers will be raising their hand at this point and then questioning why they are doing so as I can't exactly see them as they read my blog [1]. But I digress. The Kinect (originally referred to as Project Natal) was released November 4th, 2010 and has gained in popularity and sales ever since. I was originally skeptical due to anticipated hardware and software limitations and its pathetic webcam predecessors: the EyeToy for Playstation 2 and Xbox Live Vision [2][3]. However, having played around with it a few times at friends', I can safely say that I think they did a decent job. The Kinect isn't perfect, but it shows a start in the right direction.

Now, with all of that stated, raise your hand if you're familiar with something known either as Project Milo or Milo and Kate. I'm going to assume that unless you came here through a search engine - specifically searching for either of those - or unless you've already heard me rant about it, then your hands are comfortably placed in their usual computing positions [4]. I'm also assuming that this is for a reason beyond your realization of the futility of raising your hand without the observance of the one who has requested it [5].

Anyway, Milo is a project by Lionhead Studios - known for the 'god games' of the Black & White series, as well as the Fable RPG series. I call it a 'project' because its actual status and nature has fluctuated more than Oprah's weight. It debuted at E3 back in 2009 with a questionable [6], yet impressive, 'gameplay' video. Since then, Peter Molyneux, Lionhead's creative director, seems to constantly push that it will be a retail product (a 'game' if you want to call it that) - even presenting specific features and story elements at TEDGlobal 2010. They've even had their drama director, John Dower, present a technology/concept overview. It appeared to be some mix between The Sims, Animal Crossing, and one of those Japanese dating sims, with the exception that you're more of a friend/older brother character to a young boy as opposed to trying to get lucky [7]. Despite this, the project has been declared 'canceled' several times - the last of which being this past September - with its elements being called 'tech demos' or being incorporated into other games. However, all of these statements tend to get retracted or made all the more ambiguous, so who really knows what has happened to poor Milo.

It's at this point that I will reveal my personal agenda as far as Project Milo goes: I want this thing to both a) see the light of day in a retail product and b) inspire a new field of technological application and design.

Here's why:

1. Milo is visually beautiful - Although that sounds weird, you have to admit that the demos contain graphically impressive technology. Milo's world feels real - having both detailed, manipulatable, settings and a nifty virtual reality touch. The mega-mesh technology and drama direction look to pull you in to the project's setting. In addition, the attention to Milo's character design, both features and expressions, give him a lifelike existence that I might actually grow to care about [8].
2. Milo implements immersive interactive technology - The use of the Kinect for a motion-intuitive control scheme [9] that can integrate other manipulatives and surrounding details into the overall experience (such as giving Milo your own drawing or having him recognize the color of your shirt) is praise-worthy [10]. Furthermore, the proposed concept of a growing personality and conversation dictionary for the character via a network database shared with other players gives Milo (character and project) room to grow and self-patch from potential bugs. All references to Skynet aside [11], this concept of Milo receiving general updates from all users, and integrating current events, gives the project an expansive, extended-game play value. The potential for it to track your other Xbox habits (gaming or movies) and noted events [12] to develop conversations around makes Milo more personal as well. There has also been suggestion that Milo can keep track of multiple individuals at once or over the course of time. You can introduce him to new friends or the rest of your family and build relationship profiles for everyone - thus merging worlds.
3. Milo has character and story - Okay, so this part hasn't been fully revealed but it has been suggested that you are basically Milo's friend helping him through a difficult transition. Milo is a British boy of unconfirmed age [13] who has just moved to the States with his parents. His parents appear fairly stressed as is, so he doesn't get much support from them. Based on some of the released conversation points, it's even possible that Milo's dad may be in the military (or even died while in the military) and that could be the reason for the move, his irritable mother, and more of his melancholy moments [14]. This is where you, as the player, enter Milo's world. He needs someone and, despite your exact nature, you get to provide support, guidance, moral development [15], and basic friendship to young Milo. Storyboard images released back in March portray it as an adventure game with a forest section and reveal Milo's dog, Kate. All-in-all you're taking Milo . . . somewhere, although the joy is really in the journey. It's still inventive storytelling that pulls you into the game, more so than other games typically praised for this.
4. Milo actually has some real-world applications - Not to give any fuel for the fire of the 'violent games train you to kill people' crowd, but Milo or similar programs could be used for training - especially if you incorporate a complex point-and-rank system. A project like this could be used for screening or training foster-care and adoption applicants, counselors, social workers, daycare workers, baby-sitters, and teachers. You could even adjust the program for counseling purposes to help kids work through their own problems or prepare parents and caregivers to help identified children with special needs who will soon be in their care. Preparatory autism training for a new parent? Friendship-building training for shy, bullied, or bullying kids? New child preparation for an adoptive family's current children? Think about potential personality, problem, or training modules that could be developed. Milo could be from a traditional, single-parent, blended, or adoptive family. Milo could have issues with anger, loss, attachment, ADHD, personal phobias, nocturnal enuresis, reading, learning disabilities, stress, or a number of other childhood struggles - individually or in multiple layers. Milo could have interests ranging from artistic, athletic, scientific, philosophic, religious, technological, etc. In essence, Milo has potential to be far more than a recreational game. It could be educational, helpful, and encouraging.

In conclusion, Project Milo, while it seems hopelessly ambitious and difficult to promote as a mere game, involves innovations and potential applications that are too valuable to simply discard or cannibalize for novelties in traditional gaming. Although applications could be negative based on user-developed material [16], I think the potential for a positive utilization of the concept for training and personal development can far outweigh these abuses. I want the next news I hear of Project Milo to be a green light for its continued development and production of a marketable program. I'd hate to think of this as another concept that has been dropped because of short-sighted investors. Seriously, Microsoft, this would give me (and other markets) a reason to even buy an Xbox [17]. I'm sure any number of users would love to adopt (and be adopted by) Milo. Let us bring him home and expand our worlds! [18]

[1] Or can I? . . . No . . . No, I'm not that bored.

[2] Note that I am not linking these.

[3] Also note that I do not include Nintendo's Wii in this as I do not consider it to be operating on the same principles. It functions from infrared signal motion detection while the others are based around image processing.

[4] Or perhaps one is helping you to enjoy a tasty snack.

[5] I may have accidentally introduced something of a Zen koan here.

[6] Wired especially seemed schizophrenic with both hope at the potential and a healthy dose of skepticism.

[7] Although nice debates spawned over just how interactive things would get with Milo. Some even questioned whether it could be used as a course in pederasty. You can look up some of these forum debates and spoofs on your own time if you're really so interested.

[8] The only other time I've even remotely cared about a character in a game is in the Silent Hill series of games (mainly because I could somewhat identify with the character's complexity and struggle).

[9] Which works far better than I ever would have imagined at this stage.

[10] Although this does make me a little leery about what I may have, or may need, sitting around my game area. Not to mention the fact that this will be the first time I'll feel the need to wear pants while playing a video game.

[11] It's been beat to death anyway.

[12] Remember his farewell from the video that included a reminder about your mother's birthday? This could prove potentially more useful than facebook but also gives you more reason to care about Milo - it kind of feels like you actually know each other.

[13] Seriously, I've heard anything from 8- to 12-years old. The suggestion has been made that you are Milo's imaginary friend, which would make me lean toward the younger age, but I've not seen as much confirmation of this. It could be that you are like a sibling, cousin, or real friend. I feel more comfortable with the idea that you are actually a real entity in this world as Milo has an EXTREMELY overactive imagination (or psychosis) otherwise. Meaning someone is bound to notice, diagnose, and eliminate you with a nice pill.

[14] Perhaps even the one clip where he shouts at you is tied to a story line of loss, or even conflict between his parents. There are several interesting routes this could take.

[15] You can choose to either promote or prevent him from squashing a snail, oh my!

[16] Think of Second Life.

[17] Xbox fanboys can shut it. There has yet to be anything brought out that would make me invest that cash when I'm primarily a PC- and retro-gamer. I've got just as good (if not better) games and opportunities in those realms.

[18] A final legal-related note: I do not represent, nor have I received any compensation from, ANY of the companies/persons who own, produce, or develop the hardware, software, or services mentioned above. All products, titles, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I presently have no affiliation with any of the linked or described entities (apart from the link to a previous post of my own).

With that said, if any of the companies/persons mentioned above would like to hire an electrical engineer with experience in logic design, software-hardware integration, and programming using bio-inspired (genetic) algorithms, I'm available and would love to aid in this and similar projects.

To my readers: I apologize for the bit of self-promotion just now but, hey, it's a cool project and I need a career. Also, consider the rest of this blog. I would be the perfect person for working on all levels of the development and could help you bring a realistic Milo home.